


friends with extras

by The_Eclectic_Bookworm



Category: Leverage
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-25 18:56:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12538896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Eclectic_Bookworm/pseuds/The_Eclectic_Bookworm
Summary: Once again, Nate is struck by the not-new yet always-startling realization that Sophie really is his closest friend.





	friends with extras

Sometimes it’s the absence of sadness that makes you realize sadness was present in the first place. It’s that absence that Nate is reflecting on when he looks at Sophie, lying on her stomach in the middle of his bed and flipping idly through a fashion magazine. “Goodness, I’d like a pair of _those_ shoes,” she’s saying vaguely. “When are we ever going to do a con where I can go _shopping?_ ”

Sophie makes Nate feel the sunlight. It’s something that has taken him years to put into words, and will probably take him years more to tell her; when she’s around, in his arms, in his space, he notices small, wonderful things that usually escape his attention. Nate’s always trying to focus on goals outside of himself, move toward things that’ll make him forget the kind of man he’s made himself into, but Sophie…looking at her, now, the pain and guilt feels so much less of a burden. She centers him, always has, even when he was so determined not to let her.

“Is this broody-quiet or reflective-quiet?” Sophie inquires. She still hasn’t looked up from the magazine, but there’s a small smirk on her face.

“Mmm,” says Nate, not quite ready to answer. He sits down next to her on the bed. “And we _did_ do a con where you went shopping,” he adds. “More than once.”

“Yes, but that wasn’t recent,” says Sophie, moving to a sitting position next to Nate. She’s giving him that sweet, teasing smile, the one that he’s been seeing more and more often lately now that they’re friends-with-extras (or whatever they’re calling it). “Not recent enough for me, at least—Nate, I really would like more shoes.”

Once again, Nate is struck by the not-new yet always-startling realization that Sophie really is his closest friend. “Right,” he says. “Because you don’t own roughly five thousand pairs of shoes already.”

“That is _such_ an exaggeration,” Sophie huffs, leaning against him. “I’d estimate the total at roughly two hundred, and most of them are in Europe anyway so it’s a moot point.”

Nate has the sudden impulse to kiss Sophie on the cheek, and doesn’t quite know if he’s ready to think about why. His feelings for Sophie—they’re beyond words, really, indefinable, and maybe that’s why he’s so determined to draw a no-relationship line. Once he knows for certain what he’s feeling, maybe then he’ll be ready to make those feelings something concrete and solid. But the team is a perfectly functioning unit, and it’s difficult to imagine throwing a new relationship into the mix when he doesn’t even know what that relationship _is_.

“Broody-quiet,” says Sophie decisively. “You’ve got that _look_ on your face.”

“What look?” says Nate, both indignant and nervous. Sophie always knows how to read him a little more than he’d like.

“Oh, don’t ask me to describe it.” Sophie waves a hand. “It’s just—a look. I know how you look when you’re brooding.”

“I could be _reflecting,_ ” Nate points out, and pulls Sophie into his arms. She laughs—she always throws her head back a little when she laughs, it makes him smile too—and rests her cheek very briefly against his. “What’s the difference, anyway?”

“Broody means you’re upset about something,” Sophie explains. Her voice is still light, but there’s a semi-cautious note to the way she speaks. “Reflective means you’re not.”

“Well, I’ve got you, Soph, why would I be upset?” says Nate without really thinking.

It’s only a second, but Nate sees Sophie falter. Her eyes soften, her lips part in a soft _o_ shape, and a possibility crosses Nate’s mind: maybe _friends with extras_ isn’t at all the kind of relationship he and Sophie have, even if that’s what he wants to believe. But then the moment passes, and Sophie pulls away a little, saying, “I think my fashion magazine’s getting crumpled, let me just put it on the nightstand.”

Nate falls back against the pillows and watches Sophie place the magazine down with an unusual level of care. Her hands shake a bit, and he suddenly feels very awful. “Hey,” he says. “Sophie. I-I’m sorry.”

Sophie looks up, her face unreadable. “For what?” she says. “That’s—certainly the sort of thing that friends say, Nate, you’ve got no reason to be sorry.”

Nate wants to tell Sophie that she makes him feel warm, that she makes him feel like there’s something worth saving in him, that she’s part of the reason that he’s becoming a better person, but he doesn’t know how to put it into words without making it sound clumsy and ridiculous.

“Still,” he says. It’s the most he can manage, and he thinks Sophie understands that.


End file.
